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Thread: Wagon > Monte Carlo NA/SS

  1. #1
    Leanest Porker evaR Bacon's Avatar
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    Default Wagon > Monte Carlo NA/SS

    Because I just love those weak kills I'm serving up another one.

    So I'm just out cruising around minding my own business in the my sweet excuse for a car late in the evening, enjoying the cold air. And I'm just rocking out to some music at a stoplight. And along side me pulls a newer Monte Carlo with what I believe to be some sweet SS badges.

    (Or maybe is was headlight glare from a passing car but I could swear they were there. Not that it makes a difference in straight line performance besides the extra weight of the badging, and fractional increase in aerodynamic drag.)


    Regardless I see this rather intimidating car next to me, and I'm like "ooo scary" the light turns green. And just to egg him on I lazily start to rev first gear out a bit. He takes the bait hook, line, and sinker...

    Now to give an idea of the location this is one of those two-to-one merges. However this one is quite different as instead of it immediately ending. it actually goes on for a good distance. No where for anyone to pull out or hide beyond the starting point, and no one going the other way. Ideal conditions to say the least, and plenty of room to determine a victor.

    Now back to this wonderfully crafted, and obviously fictional story as racing anywhere besides a track is quite silly. Anyways, the guy takes the bait he hammer's it his auto tragic drifting slowly into second. While I do the opposite and prevent a baby seal from being clubbed by short shifting into 2nd at about 20ish. Dropping all boost, my snail decides to say fuck you and lags for a bit. Before letting my true power be known to my evil adversary, he grabs about 3/4 a car it doesn't last long.

    The turbo starts to let out a bitchy whine as it started to chew through the cool evening air. No doubt instilling fear into his heart as my station wagon let it's presence be known. By 40 the 3/4 car lead was gone we were dead even. At about this point I had begun to hit both our weak spots. That being the top-end, however I had compensated early for mine by short-shifting. No more lag, no unneeded shifting, and most importantly the engine still had more left. Where as his was quickly leaving it's peak of efficiency far behind.

    Staying in it, as he desperately tried to keep up as I pulled away he couldn't, as the poor gearing of the automatic just caused him to drop back further. The speedo keeps climbing to 70 until I have 1 1/2 cars on him. All the more letting him know he fucked with the wrong station wagon.

    I let off expecting a ricer flyby, and got nothing he just stayed back.no tailgating or anything which was cool, we went our separate ways and I headed towards Mighty to watch a certain orange cobalt club a baby-seal. Which sadly never happened.


    All in all though it provided some good entertainment for me though.

  2. #2
    No, the bumps are there for YOUR pleasure! The_Russian's Avatar
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    YAY more monte bashing
    1994 Buick Lesabre daily Posts: 1,111
    When you think all is lost, Just remember Darwin is hiding in the shadows, killing the stupid.



  3. #3
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    Just to add, I witnessed 2 kids in a grey Monte on Sheridan drivin like their car was on the track...I mean this tough race bred car was weavin in/out and was just all out tough! I even heard these newer Monte guys gotta go through a driving coarse to be able to own one since they got so much bawls.



    Side note: Some of the above was sarcasm
    '97 Grand Prix GT ...Engine, Trans, Suspension. It's boosted, n moves purty good.

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    Big Papa Pump bladez's Avatar
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    haha excellent devin
    Low Boost Pump Gas Magic

  5. #5
    Dinking & Driving is SO COOL. 9ONA3OOZX's Avatar
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    shouldnt mock the monte's...they're the next collectible, remember?


    to lame kills
    to no more montes

  6. #6
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    ^^^oooooooo low blow...lmao
    '97 Grand Prix GT ...Engine, Trans, Suspension. It's boosted, n moves purty good.

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    Um....what do you mean club a baby seal there devin??? Im kind of confused

    STM Tuned-Fastest Stock Turbo X on the planet. 11.16 ET 121.14 mph

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    oooooooh snap?
    '97 Grand Prix GT ...Engine, Trans, Suspension. It's boosted, n moves purty good.

  9. #9
    Leanest Porker evaR Bacon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 05OrangeSS View Post
    Um....what do you mean club a baby seal there devin??? Im kind of confused
    A one-sided race in which the opponent clearly never stood a chance. In otherwords I'm saying your car is decently fast and I wanted to see a race between you and the unknown honda on "dubs" expecting an easy win for you.

    I rather appreciate the amount of work you put into your car, and know it's decently quick.

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    lol I want to see a real "baby seal" actually fight back one time...It would make for a great vid clip......

    STM Tuned-Fastest Stock Turbo X on the planet. 11.16 ET 121.14 mph

  11. #11
    Leanest Porker evaR Bacon's Avatar
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    Haha, the mental image of that is hysterical. Would serve the person right too.

  12. #12
    Lifetime User Dr.Stevil's Avatar
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